The Human Body Has Ways Of Shutting It Down
The Human Body Has Ways Of Shutting It Down
[POEM] Following an alien abduction, a senator must live with the consequences of his own policies
Some believe an egg fertilised in another person’s body is sacred and ought to be grown into a new human being regardless of what the host thinks.
Some believe girls and women have a right to terminate an unwanted pregnancy rather than being forced to grow a baby using their bodies against their will.
I, for one, rend my clothes and tear my hair at the thought of the trillions of babies murdered by dint of my being a product of a mutually-exclusive egg and sperm combination precluding their existence.
Whatever your views on the topic of abortion, I think we can all agree that many people wouldn’t stick to their pro-life guns if they had skin in the game.
“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down”
— U.S. Senate candidate Todd Akin
“Even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that . . . is something that God intended to happen”
— U.S. Senator Richard Mourdock
The Human Body Has Ways Of Shutting It Down
I hear the human body, once said a clown,
In legitimate rape, has ways of shutting it down.
And so I entreat you to imagine a man of his ilk,
Drunken and clad in “provocative” boxers of silk,
Abducted from a cornfield, or maybe a glen,
Sucked into a saucer by little green men.
As regards this absurdist tale of a pro-life senator,
The first human-alien hybrid progenitor,
I must emphasise I don’t mean to depict him,
Though entirely unconscious, at all as a victim,
For, folks, I have proof to the rape he consented,
After watching Orion’s Revenge I hear he lamented,
“Three-breasted Martians? How I do crave,
To be a green-skinned babe’s brainwashed sex slave!”
The senator has flashbacks as he starts to disrobe,
“Doctor, do you think we could please skip the probe?”
The doctor examines him and intones with gravity,
“I’m afraid the alien will burst from your chest cavity”,
Then shrugs, “What a tragedy, but what can we do,
There’s already a heart cell, no, wait, there’s two”.
“Always, I’ve championed the rights of the unborn”,
Says our senator, shoulders slumped, looking forlorn,
“They can’t cast a vote or donate to my election campaign,
But at least once they’re born, they need nothing again”.
Years later, a Republican candidate of immoderate views,
Is asked a pertinent question on Channel 4 news,
“Xyllon, is it true, are your policies anti-mankind?”
Says he, I find that offensive, and very unkind,
I’ll have you know I’m a great lover of humans, bar none,
Did you know that my own father was one?
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