Your Mother Disapproves of Me, Norman
Eclectic Etiquette. Meeting your future mother-in-law is stressful. Follow these simple guidelines and you’re sure to survive the evening!
Norman’s mother means a great deal to him, so it’s only natural that you wish to impress her. The two of you are thinking of getting hitched sometime soon, and you’d love for her to approve.
Firstly, be sure to dress conservatively and bring a hostess gift.
Once inside, it’s only good manners to comment on the loveliness of your hostess’s home. You could say, ‘I’ve always loved the Gothic style. And the motel is simply lovely too. How I do so admire that you have your own business.’
Be sure to compliment her son within earshot; your love for Norman is something you two have in common and will serve to endear you to her. You could say something like, ‘My, that finch looks as though it’ll come to life and fly from its plinth at any moment. Such artistry!’ This is a good opportunity to not only show appreciation for your beau’s taxidermy talents, but to once again compliment the decor.
If Mrs Bates isn’t very talkative during dinner, it’s up to you to take up the mantle. For example, you could tell her the story of how you and Norman met. If it was through online dating, feel free to embellish a little, ‘Oh, we were just two strangers on a train…’ or ‘He spotted me from the rear-view window, it was love at first sight’. There’s no harm in a little white lie!
After dinner be sure to pay your compliments to the chef, ‘Goodness, that was delicious. I’m absolutely stuffed, how about you Mrs Bates?’ And, while it’s perfectly alright to point out to Norman that he has a spot of marinara sauce on his chin, do not draw attention to the spider which has just crawled out of Mrs Bates’ eye socket and into her mouth.
If at any point in the evening you find yourself becoming flustered, excuse yourself for the bathroom to regain your composure. However, should you find anything peculiar inside the bathroom, or fruit cellar, or any part of the house whatsoever, do not remark on it.
You might think nothing of telling the hostess that you noticed the shower curtain is a little torn and needs replacing, however it is likely that she is house-proud and your suggestion would be met with mortified silence.
Similarly, you might think that all the Hershey’s chocolate syrup bottles in the shower are very curious indeed—you simply must know the story behind it! However, drawing attention to this peculiarity would give the unfortunate impression that you were snooping.
Finally, if you are under the impression Mrs Bates was rather cold to you, bring this to your sweetheart’s attention gently, without seeming accusatory. After all, no one wants to date a psycho!
Other Eclectic Etiquette pieces:
Double Trouble: Doppelganger Dos and Don'ts
Realtor Responds To Irate Clients Who Purchased Haunted Homes
Knowledge is Power, France is Bacon is a reader-supported publication. Please consider a monthly paid subscription or caffeinating me on a non-regular basis.
What's a girl to do in the face of such "unassailable" competition? 😉🙂 Short of crossing the River Styx yourselves ...
But arguably, as maybe you're alluding to, that is the crux of the problem with transgenderism, the desperate desire of too many transwomen, in particular, to identify "with" their mothers so much that they identify AS women. Some serious pathologies there that go rather deep -- I'm reminded of the rather "dark" movie "Reflections in a Golden Eye".
And, maybe arguably, so deep and so pervasive as to condemn us all -- present company excepted, of course 😉🙂. Everyone but me and thee, and I have doubts about ... me. But reminds me of another classic, Generation of Vipers, by Philip Wylie who apparently coined the term "momism". A particularly damning passage, of many, therefrom:
PW: “We must understand mom before we lose touch with understanding itself.
I showed her as she is—ridiculous, vain, vicious, a little mad. She is her own fault first of all and she is dangerous. But she is also everybody’s fault. When we and our culture and our religions agreed to hold woman the inferior sex, cursed, unclean and sinful—we made her mom. And when we agreed upon the American Ideal Woman, the Dream Girl of National Adolescence, the Queen of Bedpan Week, the Pin-up, the Glamour Puss – we insulted women and disenfranchised millions from love. We thus made mom. The hen-harpy is but the Cinderella chick come home to roost: the taloned, cackling residue of burnt-out puberty in a land that has no use for mature men or women.
Mom is a human calamity. She is also, like every calamity, a cause for sorrow, a reproach, a warning siren and a terrible appeal for amends.”
https://vultureofcritique.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/philip-wylie-generation-of-vipers.pdf
Maybe arguably, the endpoint of that is Norman Bates and “It’s ma’am”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lb6OpRfyLFo
https://ifunny.co/picture/doctor-sir-patient-excuse-me-doctor-it-s-ma-am-X4bmSpp69